On making friendships and failing miserably.

So he kissed me.
I didn't want him to kiss me, but he did.
I was not expecting it either. I was on the couch, being relaxed, on the couch.

When you are far away and you got nothing but to trust people you don't know is when you really miss your friends. Something in your mind accelerates the process of "knowing each other"and trust is a commodity that can overrate depending on the current market value and the investors confidence on your life. And with the littlest things you overinvest in new friendships with the HOPE that you can chill.
But you got nothing else but to trust somebody, because we all need that bunch of people we feel comfortable with. Those ones with whom we take off our working persona and put our own skin, in the name of freedom.

I don't understand Marco, but I do see where he is coming from.
Marco doesn't hang out with people. He goes swimming alone, he goes running alone, he makes friends with the little kids at Ela Beach and plays football and goes home. He runs away from social encounters with people of his own age and same condition.

I am not like Marco. I like people, I need people. I like hanging out and talking and creating something with somebody else's story. I like trusting someone new, I miss the warmth of a friend and the relaxation I get when I can just be myself and be awkward and fun and chill without any further consequences. That is liberating for me. That is how I operate.

Until, unexpectedly, they come and fucking kiss you while you are drunk on a couch,
I thought I could be drunk on a couch.

But apparently I couldn't.

I don't like people.
I have to start all over again.