He makes me feel
naked
inside.

With  all my lies,
the ones I tell myself;
my own show
thrown away.
He knows.

The lying smile,
the mediocre love,
the surface always present,
the pretension of control.

For he is the perfect Dr Jeckyll
for I can´t hide my Mr Hyde
for I see who I was in him
before I let my soul collide

I was once of simple feelings
I was once of self respect
I was once the moral voice
that could make myself correct

We have all been there
our structure was once proofed
our beliefs, our ideas,
our core was put to truth.

It takes strength to stay upright
in the madness of the lonely,
for it is easier to belong
in the jungle of the lost.


He may or may not be
my mirror, my reflection
But in his eyes I  see he knows
But in his eyes
I see
he knows.





It is a lie,
he knows.

When I saw him I saw me
and I wanted myself back.
The shame, the guilt, the sorrow
The reason I was stuck.




I see him, I see me
the one I used to be
the one who´s fighting to be free
from  the self-inflicted cage of grief





Naked
looking at yourself
with nothing but
disgrace.

you walk along your details
the ones that only you know.
You look for what is looked for
and can´t find them anymore.

Your skin has changed,
your eyes have sharped
but what is even worse
it´s what you can´t find inside.

The person you made yourself to be
the way you saw the world.
Your courage, your

All you used to be
with your failures and your rights

more than two years passed since my last post in this blog, thus not much has changed.

I am still on the Road. I am still vicious looking for whatever I am looking. Finding friends and losing most and keeping some.

I was correct in a statement I made further down: I didn't know shit and, although Papua New Guinea taught me some stuff, I still know about 1% of it all. If so.

I live in Kenya now. After one and a half years in the dqangerous paradise that is Trinidad & Tobago, I moved here looking for serenity and the calm of wildlife. Maybe in wildlife is where I will fill this emptiness that guides me, that pushes me away and forward, to, let's call it, "it"

Lonely life I chose.
Believing that by making one million friends I would stop the emptiness inside, lonely life I chose.